These Phrases shared by My Father That Helped Me during my time as a New Dad

"I think I was simply trying to survive for twelve months."

One-time Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey anticipated to cope with the difficulties of becoming a dad.

However the actual experience quickly became "utterly different" to what he pictured.

Life-threatening health problems surrounding the birth resulted in his partner Louise admitted to hospital. Suddenly he was forced into acting as her main carer while also caring for their newborn son Leo.

"I took on each nighttime feed, every nappy change… each outing. The role of mother and father," Ryan explained.

Following 11 months he became exhausted. It was a talk with his parent, on a park bench, that led him to understand he needed help.

The simple statement "You're not in a good place. You require support. What can I do to help you?" created an opening for Ryan to talk openly, look for assistance and start recovering.

His story is not uncommon, but seldom highlighted. While people is now better used to talking about the pressure on mothers and about PND, not enough is spoken about the difficulties dads go through.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to request support'

Ryan believes his challenges are symptomatic of a larger inability to open up between men, who continue to hold onto negative ideas of masculinity.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the harbour wall that just gets hit and remains standing every time."

"It's not a sign of failure to request help. I didn't do that fast enough," he explains.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher focusing on mental health before and after childbirth, explains men can be reluctant to admit they're having a hard time.

They can think they are "not the right person to be requesting help" - particularly in preference to a mother and child - but she emphasises their mental state is vitally important to the household.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad provided him with the opportunity to request a break - going on a couple of days away, away from the home environment, to get a fresh outlook.

He came to see he required a adjustment to focus on his and his partner's emotional states in addition to the day-to-day duties of caring for a infant.

When he opened up to Louise, he discovered he'd missed "what she was yearning" -reassuring touch and listening to her.

Reparenting yourself'

That epiphany has reshaped how Ryan sees parenthood.

He's now penning Leo weekly letters about his experiences as a dad, which he aspires his son will look at as he gets older.

Ryan thinks these will enable his son to more fully comprehend the vocabulary of feelings and make sense of his decisions as a father.

The concept of "reparenting" is something artist Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen did not have stable male a father figure. Despite having an "wonderful" relationship with his dad, profound emotional pain resulted in his father found it hard to cope and was "present intermittently" of his life, making difficult their relationship.

Stephen says suppressing feelings caused him to make "terrible choices" when in his youth to modify how he felt, seeking comfort in drink and drugs as an escape from the pain.

"You turn to things that aren't helpful," he notes. "They might short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will in the end make things worse."

Tips for Getting By as a New Dad

• Open up to someone - if you feel under pressure, confide in a trusted person, your other half or a professional how you're feeling. This can to lighten the load and make you feel less isolated.
• Keep up your interests - keep doing the pursuits that made you feel like the person you were before the baby arrived. Examples include playing sport, socialising or a favourite hobby.
• Look after the body - nutritious food, staying active and if you can, resting, all are important in how your mental state is faring.
• Connect with other new dads - listening to their journeys, the difficult parts, and also the joys, can help to normalise how you're feeling.
• Understand that seeking help isn't failing - taking care of you is the best way you can support your household.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen expectedly had difficulty processing the death, having not spoken to him for a long time.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's committed not to "continue the chain" with his boy and instead provide the security and emotional guidance he lacked.

When his son is about to have a meltdown, for example, they try "shaking it out" together - expressing the frustrations in a healthy way.

Each of Ryan and Stephen state they have become improved and more well-rounded men because they faced their pain, altered how they talk, and figured out how to manage themselves for their kids.

"I am now more capable of… processing things and dealing with things," explains Stephen.

"I wrote that in a note to Leo the other week," Ryan says. "I wrote, sometimes I believe my role is to instruct and tell you on life, but actually, it's a dialogue. I am discovering an equal amount as you are through this experience."